Live and Beauty After #23

After marrying #23, a series of events led to a lot of trauma, a lot of family court, and a lot of changes. Join me on my new journey as I practice wholehearted living as a survivor of domestic violence.


Sunday, June 14, 2009

#2; That's just what it was

Frat Rat
Height: 6'2
Age: 28
Met: a party, at a bar
J.C. Penny's suit model attractive

There is a playground with a basketball court just outside my window. This seems like a scenario that would be better than looking out at a brick wall. But when the weather is warm people swarm out of their stuffy apartments and sit. They talk. They yell. They play loud music. And they let their children run around screaming and banging aluminum baseball bats into metal poles at all hours of the night (or morning). So when other people are complaining about the rain I am more than happy to come home and listen to the rain falling outside. How grateful I am that tonight I don't have to scream "SHUT UP!" out the window in several different languages.

Back in January I met a couple of guys at a bar in Greenwich Village where one of my best friends was having her birthday party. It was my initial intention that one of them be her birthday present (she is shy, and wonderful). But she was wonderful and late for her birthday party and by the time she got there and did a round of "hello"s they were both drunk. One of them asked for my number and I gave it to him, assuming I would never hear from him. I was becoming a Ramones groupie at the time so had no interest. He proceeded to call. And text. Eventually he gave up but I would still hear from him occasionally. I decided to give him a call.

I thought we could do a double date with my friend (the birthday girl) and one of his buddies, but then my friend had to bail for a going away party. When someone is moving to Korea you should definitely go to their going away party, so it is cool. But me and the guy, let us call him the Frat Rat, still decide we are going to meet up in Hoboken, where he lives.

I am getting ready to leave my apartment when I get a call saying Hoboken is off. He is having a drink with a buddy up near Columbus Circle, can I meet him there? I'm mildly irritated at the last minute change as it makes for different means of transportation and timing but I say OK, and he pushes the time back an hour. Again, kind of irritated. When a girl is ready to go out on a Saturday night she is ready to go out on a Saturday night and by this point I was one earring away from grabbing the purse and leaving. So in my Saturday night gear I sit down on my cat hair covered couch and watch a back episode of "Life After People" (History channel series that you should watch if you have some nerdy tendencies like I do).

So I make my train transfers and find myself at Columbus Circle. I head into the bar and spot my guy. I give the hair a toss and then realize that he is in conversation with someone. Wait, no sometwo...three...a whole group of cookie cutter 20 something finance guys. And from the looks, sounds, and smell of things they have been drinking for a while. Great. Our date has turned into me, the Frat Rat and a whole gang of his friends from Philadelphia.

I have always considered myself a fly by the seat of my pants kind of a girl and I have been known to entertain groups of men on my own, so I am game. I think. He spots me and throws his arms around me for a big ol' reunion type hug. With arm possessively around my shoulders he introduces me to his friends, mispronouncing my name. I politely shake the hand of the seemingly soberest one of the group and introduce myself with my actual name. Frat Rat asks what I want and hands me a Jack and Diet which I sip at gingerly. Getting drunk in a group of already drunk guys doesn't really sound like a good idea.

Frat Rat tries to be social with me. Asks some questions about how I've been, what I've been up to. This of course is consistently interrupted by him shouting over me "DUDE!..." to whomever might be listening to him. Seemingly sober guy tried to engage me in conversation and Frat Rat puts his arm around my waist and pulls me in telling his friend "did you know that she (insert whatever I last told him)". This series of events repeats itself several times. However each time he shimmies in next to me his hand moves a little further down my hip and the grip gets a little tighter. Ummm...

It has been an hour and each time Frat Rat opens his mouth I have to force myself to not roll my eyes. Seemingly sober friend has begun to blend in with the rest of the group and I find myself thinking about the great conversation I got to have with the Brit and the continuous string of one-liners that come from The Ramone any time I am with him. I don't want to be rude but I need to call it a night.

"Hey, we're going to the Lower East Side! Are you coming?" My chance. I fib a little and say that with the rain and everything I'd prefer to stay close to my train, which the LES is not. If I am having a good time or am interested in the people I am with you can bet that a little bit of water isn't going to hold me back, but this is my golden opportunity. Frat Rat whines and tries to persuade me otherwise, but realizes it is a fight he is not going to win so leaves it with "Alright, well I will call you." "Great!" And they go out and grab a couple of cabs as I pop open my umbrella and walk to the train.

No escort to my train. No offer to drop me somewhere. They just leave me on the curb. I am a very independent woman, but chivalry will always go a long way in my book. Homecoming king he may have been, but a prince he most certainly is not.

Bonus Features:
*great height, could rest my head into the area where his chest and shoulder meet if I wanted to
*nicely dressed (I noticed his winter coat the first time we met)
*close circle of friends

As-Is Defaults:
*drinks a little too much (or doesn't handle his drink)
*immature
*squinty eyes (not for me)

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