Is #3 really a magic number?

Shy Guy
Height: 5'11
Age: 32
Met: Online Dating Site
Average (on the cute side)


After a 9 day hiatus, I got back out on another date. The average is so far one a week, but if we can bang out a few a week, that might give me some room for time off if necessary. Last night marked the first, of probably many, dates with guys I "met" on an online dating site. I recommend these sites to anyone who is tired of getting picked up by drunk guys in bars or has already dated all of the available men who work in their industry. The stigma is not what it used to be. In fact, I think it is pretty normal to do this nowadays. So what are you waiting for ladies? Get out the credit card and a bottle of red, have some friends over and help each other write the perfect profile so you can get started!

The first e-mail I received from the Shy Guy was nothing spectacular. It didn't make me blush or laugh. He actually asked me one of my least favorite intro questions "how is your [site name] experience going?" The obvious answer to this is not so well since I am still looking for someone. But because I am supposed to be open to anyone, and his profile picture had him sporting a Kelly green argyle sweater, I decide to respond. After a week of brief correspondence we decide to meet for a happy hour drink. Noticing, or remembering, that I speak of my love for dark beer in my profile he suggests a place near the train station that is known for it's beer selection. It also happens to be my usual watering hole where I met #1. I know where it is!

I got to the pub a few minutes early to try to scope out either a place to sit or be able to lean on the bar. Done. I have a disadvantage when meeting someone in a crowded location. I am blind in one eye. So I can't see to the door without turning all the way around and I hate looking like I am waiting for someone. But in my nonchalant looking over my shoulder and tossing the hair, I see someone who looks kind of like my argyle sweater. I give him a reassuring wave and he makes his way over.

I live and date in Manhattan where the cocky, materialistic prick reigns king. So to meet this sweaty-handed bumbler was kind of exciting. I actually made this guy noticeably nervous! Overly confident, smarmy guys with shit-eating grins are a dime a dozen in this town and I got to spend a little over an hour with a New Jersey boy who very clearly doesn't fit in, and that is great!

I don't follow a whole lot of golf other than what I see on Sports Center, but knowing Shy Guy had spent the weekend at the U.S. Open, I payed attention to the final holes while at the gym the other day. So we talk golf talk and he starts asking questions. Had I not remembered to ask some things in return this genuinely sweet man would have gone on just listening. And ACTIVELY listening, too! What? I didn't know that still existed!

In talking about our siblings I found out that he bought a house in South Jersey a few years ago and his sister lives with him for the time being while she is struggling. I wish I had a big brother like that to lean on! His mother and other sister live nearby as well and he sees them frequently. That could be a bad thing, depending on just how close they are, but I both envy and appreciate a man who is still close with his family. I'd give anything to be geographically closer to my family and get frustrated with people who take advantage of that opportunity.

After an hour together he lets me know that he has to leave soon to make a train. He tells me this right after I order another pint. I'm a girl who is happy to pay for my own drinks, but it is a nice gesture to have a guy pay for a beer. He didn't even make the offer on either which was disappointing, but at this point he was still so nervous that he couldn't stop blinking and stuttering. I thought that maybe he was just not enjoying himself or got all the info he needed to know that I wasn't the girl for him. But he asked if he could take me to dinner early next week. I gave him a mildly uncomfortable hug and he was on his way.

With a nearly full pint still in front of me I start chatting with the group next to me who are in town on business. Meanwhile another guy has come up on the other side. I feel a hand, not a tapping finger, on my shoulder so turn around and he asks if he can squeeze in. "Of course". Good lookin' guy with an Irish brogue. Horrible smoker's breath. He orders a gin and tonic. It is a pet peeve of mine when grown men order up a well drink. They should know by now that there is a difference in liquors and be more specific. Small thing, yes, but for regular drinkers... Come on!

Here comes the kicker on this one. It takes maybe five minutes for him to finish his drink and he tells me he is off to catch his train. He tells me to have a great night right before shoving his tongue down my throat! Then he turns and leaves! What the hell? This is new. I have done my fair share of making out with men I have just met that night in a bar, I think we all have, but not after 5 minutes! Nor did he give any warning or ask for any permissions. I was angry and amused at the same time. Even more disappointing, it was possibly the worst kiss ever.

One of the managers, a friend of mine, when told the story said "So, does that count as a date?" Unfortunately, I don't think that can count as #4. I don't think it can count for anything except a good story! I tell ya ladies, these things called "men" will never cease to amaze me. What will they think of next?

So is 3 really a magic number like "School House Rock" used to tell us? Maybe. Shy Guy was definitely different than any man I have encountered in my time. We will see. Should he call to schedule that dinner, I may be inclined to accept.

Bonus Features:
*active listener
*owns his home
*close family connections (depending on his mother this could also be a default)

As-Is Defaults:
*may lack confidence, or he could just be a nervous first dater