G-Thrasher
Height: 6'0
Age: 36
Met: Online
Bald and broad, borderline Skinhead in a dad's clothing
Being a well-informed, female sports fan is not an easy role to play anywhere, but on the East Coast it is even harder. Women out East don't follow sports for the most part, and I have come to believe that for the most part Eastern men like it that way. I believe it to be one of the reasons guys spike me into the friend zone after the first date regularly. So when I hear from this guy who is REALLY excited about my love of college football I, myself, got a little excited, too! As a bonus, he thinks I'm adorable. Not smokin', or hot, or really pretty. None of these things are bad to be, but it seems that this guy senses there is more than a decent body and a great sense of style ;)
I receive a few e-mails from G-Thrasher (his name starts with a “G” and you’ll understand later) and each one is superbly written. I mention my disdain for misuse of the word "their" (and its variations) or the words "you're" and “your” in my profile and that things like “LOL” and “LMAO” drive me crazy. So even if he is just putting forth extra effort to impress me, I am glad he is. I even sign my e-mails (:L:) and I thought he was being cute when he expressed frustration saying “I can't believe I don't warrant getting more than an initial”. I should have seen it for a sign. I have an unusual name, so to prevent random people from finding me easily, I don’t give out my name until I know I am going to meet them. Again, I think he is joking, and enjoying the joke, when he starts calling me Lamar. I am seeing this all as friendly banter.
I just returned a couple of days ago and am leaving town again tomorrow, so when I decided to go to a lounge for a friend’s guest bartending gig I thought it might be nice to ask G-Thrasher to join me there. I tell him the where, when and what of the occasion, including that I have to be somewhere at 8:30, and he replied “sounds good”. Fantastic. Rolling two social occasions into one is always exciting. It is my preference to just meet someone before talking to them on the phone, because I feel you can get more information in 3 minutes of standing in front of them than talking on the phone for 5 hours (remember Mr. Perfect?). Not to mention, if I’ve never met someone I don’t really want them to have my phone number. Having achieved setting up this date without phone contact makes me very happy.
After spending the afternoon catching up with my best friend and celebrating his birthday, I head down to Chelsea for my friend’s gig and my date. As I approach the entrance I realize that even though I may be over dressed for my normal dives, I am really low key for this crowd. The line at the door is filled with suits and heels with designer labels and I am in a sundress and semi casual sandals. Checking in with the girl at the door, I was glad I decided to stop in the shoe store to buy something that wasn’t a $3 Old Navy flip flop. The lounge is very chic and trendy with the crowd blending into its décor perfectly. Much to my relief a girl I know (also invited by my friend) is standing near the side bar in a simple sundress and sandals, too. Joined by a third similarly out of place female, we have a good laugh about our surroundings and catch up on life.
We are all on the lookout for my date. Though I have seen pictures he could have well been any bald man in the room at a distance. Then my new acquaintance bubbles out “He’s cute! It’s gotta be him! He’s looking for you! Go get him!” Patrolling the main bar is a physically imposing man looking like he is lost or on a mission, but you can’t tell. He comes down a level and starts to head towards my area when we make eye contact. It is him! And in that first moment, when he comes straight in for the hug, there is hope that this guy is as good in person as he is on paper. It was a warm day and when he hugged me he was wet and sticky from being outside.
As not to be rude, I introduce him to the ladies and to my friend behind the bar before maneuvering away from the throng. Not that it is a bad thing, but I don’t recall anyone else in the room holding a beer bottle but him. The conversation isn’t as easy starting as I thought it would be. Right away he informed me that he almost didn’t come because I didn’t’ give him my number. I assured him it wasn’t personal, but a standard precaution. He is an international trader who works only 5 hours a day, 5 days a week. Though I like the idea of a New Yorker who doesn’t live through his work, I worry that he might actually be a little lazy.
The conversation doesn’t seem to get any easier so I start to zone out a little bit. He has a jagged looking scar, about 5 inches maybe, across his left cheek. He’s wearing faded jeans and a dingy looking gray polo. Bald and broad, he has a menacing look about him. As he talks, which he does more of than I do, I notice that he doesn’t smell that great. I can’t tell if it is his breath or the evening stroll is setting in but I get the distinct odor of a used gym duffle. During this time the topic of college has come up. He brought it up discussing football so I ask about his college experience. He informs me that he never finished college, which is fine by me. Turns out, he and a couple of buddies from the football team were kicked out of school for sending 7 other guys to the hospital after a bar fight that moved outdoors. That statement alone was fairly shocking, but we are all young and dumb at some point so I try not to judge. But then he proceeds to tell me about the fight as if it were glory days. How he was in such a zone, stomping one guy’s head further into the mud with his right foot while punching another guy, that he didn’t even hear the sound of sirens as the police came to arrest them. Wow. I am trying not to look appalled but guarantee I didn’t do a very good job.
Here is where it gets good. Directly after the felony assault action, he proceeds to tell me “you’re a weird first date. You know that, right?” I ask how exactly and he starts with the phone number thing. Then continues saying its weird to have my friend there bartending and rude that I won’t even have dinner with him because I have other plans later. Let me make this clear, I learned in 1988 while watching “Sleepless in Seattle” that you don’t have dinner on the first date. “A drink maybe, but not dinner”. I have never gone to dinner on a first date. As far as that goes I’ve never been ASKED to have dinner for a first date. So no, I don’t think it’s rude. Especially since he never invited me. I usually try to make plans after an early date so no one feels awkward about calling it quits by 8:00 and he is upset that I’m not giving him my entire evening. Do I feel bad about asking him to my friend’s bartending gig? No. If I meet someone at a bar I am generally with my friends while he is generally with his and that doesn’t seem to upset anyone. And he knew this coming in! If he had already decided that the circumstances were “weird” he didn’t have to come! Or he could have offered up a plan B. I was only trying to include someone I thought might be a cool dude.
I won’t lie to you. As I am hearing this I’m a little flabbergasted. I think the open mouth smile and nod occurred, showing my confusion. I explained to him that I didn’t find any of it odd and when he came back with “you must not get a lot of men, do you?” I was officially over it. Then I was saved by the empty beer bottle. He looked into his empty beer battle, shook it a little bit, then extended his sweaty hand and said “bye”. I kid you not. That was how the final couple of minutes played out.
I turned around and headed back to the girls I was with before, feeling dumbstruck. The looks on their faces said they wanted juicy tidbits and they could hardly believe it when I told them he was gone and good riddance! I have dated a few writers in the past and all of them were phenomenal men so maybe I put too much weight on the written word in new guys. Yet another “perfect on paper” bites the dust. And I’m NOT a weird first date.
Bonus Features:
*well written (this is still a good trait)
*sports fan
*not married to his work
As-Is Defaults:
*violent/scary
*rude/off kilter
No comments:
Post a Comment