Dr. T.
Height: 5’10
Age: 43
Met: Online
Average looking, clean cut to dorky, cookie cutter suburban white guy
I spent the weekend in Washington with my sister and was hoping to give the men of D.C. yet another shot at redeeming themselves, but didn’t get anything set up. I guess their douchey redemption will just have to wait. Dr. T. ended up not being the landmark #10 after all. It should be said that several years ago, when I first started truly dating in the city, I ended up going out with four guys who all lived on 57th Street in a matter of months. Not only on the same street, but the first lived at 8th Avenue, and they chronologically headed west towards the Hudson. I remember jokingly saying to the 4th of them upon meeting “you don’t live on 57th Street do you?” and being shocked/amused when he replied “yah, how’d you know?” I have my ways I guess. So when Dr. T. told me he worked on West 57th I thought “here we go again!”
Though no longer practicing, Dr. T. is the head of medical device company and was traveling in Germany for business when I first heard from him. This immediately gave us something to talk about as I have spent some time in Germany, as well. He promised that the jet lag wouldn’t have an effect on him if I would meet him for dinner the day after he returned from Munich. Dinner? Since when do Manhattan men eat on first dates? That’s two in a row now with the food business! I should be excited about the possibility of free food I guess, but really I just see an uncomfortable situation I can’t flee from easily. Luckily, I had plans to meet my best friend’s daughter for the first time that night, so I convinced him to settle for happy hour drinks in the Columbus Circle area instead.
Literally moments after we confirmed a time for Monday I received an invite to a poetry reading and performance from the edgy ensemble for which a friend of mine is the managing director. Really wanting to see the performance I almost rescheduled with Dr. T. Not imagining he would agree to it, I asked if he would like to change up the standard first date and join me at a poetry reading. To my surprise he was seemingly excited about the idea, and no, had never been to a poetry reading on a first date. We’d meet at 7, giving us time to chat before the performance.
Being chronically early, I show up to the hip Union Square bar ten minutes early, pay my cover, buy a drink, and grab a bar stool near the door. My fear was that Dr. T. would see the crowd that had gathered and leave, feeling extremely out of place. The man who walked through the door at 7:16 was heavier set than the pictures I had seen and not nearly as attractive but wearing clean-cut business casual attire, it had to be him. He walked right past me and back to the restroom. Okay.
After a few minutes he reappeared and started to walk past me again. For a moment I think maybe he has seen me and is disappointed so pretends not to in order to just leave. I say his name to get his attention. He turns, smiles a very warm smile, and approaches me with a hug. Much better. Then the guy at the door comes up and asks Dr. T. to pay the cover now, since he avoided paying it on the way in, just in case I wasn’t there. A little cynical of him I think, but let it go. It’s 2-for-1 happy hour and he orders two Amstels. I’ve never been to a happy hour where you can get both of a 2-for-1 at the same time. Maybe he didn’t see that I already had a drink and was ordering for me, too? When the bartender gives him the total he gets very upset. The bartender tries to explain the concept of “you get your second after you finish your first”, but he isn’t having it. She gives in and gives him both beers. He hands over $6 for the one beer, and asks where I’d like to sit, not leaving a tip for the bartender who has just done him a favor. I felt better about leaving an unnecessarily large tip 20 minutes earlier. I’ve always found that being rude to service employees is a sign of not-so-wonderful things to come.
We find two seats in the back corner of the room “so we don’t disturb anyone if we talk during the readings” is his theory. “I won’t be talking, thank you. Had you shown up on time we would have had plenty of time for conversation before they begin.” I don’t say this aloud. We talk about his trip and I give him some information on the ensemble we will be seeing. There’s something supremely irritating about a man who comes to a first date not having thoroughly read your online profile, but it was even more unsettling that Dr. T. seemed to have memorized my lengthy essays. I apparently kept him company on those lonely European evenings. Still, his follow up questions are thoughtful and he seems genuinely interested. Turns out we are both the middle of three, my family all girls, his all boys. We are both Leos. But that about sums up our commonality. Not big into reading or cultural events one would think maybe he is a sports fan. Nope. Doesn’t like to watch sports. “So what do you do to pass the time?” “Oh, you know…” he replies. No. Actually I don’t know. That’s why I asked. Jigsaw puzzles? Toy trains? Masturbate? Not of importance to him I guess. But he’s still really interested in my thoughts on everything.
Saved by the emcee! The woman hosting takes the mic and I get a break from 20 questions. Dr. T. is a very enthusiastic audience member, applauding with one hand on his leg and whistling loudly through his teeth. Even for the poems through which he was paying more attention to his BlackBerry than the poet he whistles wildly, I guess to make up for having missed the whole thing. Still interested in my thoughts, he asks what my take was and what score I think each poet deserves between readings.
When my friend’s ensemble takes the stage he gets very excited. He did his research on them, as well as on me, and rattled off a string of info he found interesting. He stands, informs me he is going to get another beer and wants to know if I’d like him to get me anything. I tell him a Red Stripe would be great ,to which he responds by rolling his eyes and walking away. If he didn’t want to get me a beer, he shouldn’t have asked. He returns with a smile on his face. Later, he expresses how great he thinks the ensemble is and how very funny my friend is. I’m glad he is having a good time.
It is almost a relief when he announces he has to go meet some work colleagues mid show. Dr. T. could have been perfect in every other way, but after treating the bartender like a servant early on, I had already made my mind up. Forgetting that he had hugged me upon our initial meeting, I extend my hand when thanking him which he ignores and goes in for the hug again. “Maybe we can go see their full show sometime soon?” Not wanting to give any false hope, “maybe” and “thanks again” are the best I can offer.
In the end I suppose I set this guy up for failure. I take a straight laced, seemingly uptight guy and put him in a trendy Union Square bar. Because he showed up late I was already irritated with him. Coming off of the horrible date #8, I half expected disaster and likely gave up after he neglected to tip the bartender. I wish I could have seen if he tipped her the second time. Should he actually follow up on the show suggestion I will respectfully decline. Yet another man of 57th Street bites the dust. Could one of them be making a comeback though? Stay tuned.
Bonus Features:
*willing to step out of his comfort zone
*very interested in me
As-Is Defaults:
*late without apology or explanation
*treated the bartender poorly
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