Tiger Vet
Height: 6’1
Age: 45
Met: online
The spitting image of the actor Michael Nouri
I started my evening of back to back Match.com dates with a fellow Big 12 football fan. The Tiger Vet had contacted me over a month ago, questioning my college allegiance and pledging that his team was going to slaughter my team come October. Let’s be honest here. Sports related trash talk turns me on more than anything else so there was no way I wasn’t going to meet this guy!
I was walking to work when my phone rang. I had forgotten that I had given Tiger Vet my phone number a couple of days before. I don’t know what inspired me to bend one of my rules pertaining to online dating, but I guess he had earned his stripes in the previous weeks and as I toughed out some rough times he patiently waited for me to get around to him. It turned out that we were both partially free that night so I suggested we grab a quick drink in Hoboken while we had the window of opportunity. He said that would be great if I could think of some place quiet.
I left work in a frantic tizzy, feeling as though I had planned the worst day ever. Events were happening way too close to each other in different locations and it was causing me a lot of stress and I was visibly flustered when I walked in to the fairly empty bar in downtown Hoboken. I had squeezed Tiger Vet into an already tight time slot before a late night rendez vous (it’s not what it sounds like and you’ll hear more about it later) so I became even more agitated when I heard that he was going to be a half hour later than planned. Seriously folks! What the hell happened to setting a time and arriving on time? What DID people do before everyone had a cell phone?
I gave up on sitting patiently by myself and pulled out some work. Sadly, the Yanks were off that night so there was only a college game on the tube that I didn’t really care about. I stopped turning to look at the opening door a few minutes before my phone began to ring. As I picked up my phone I was approached by a man who looked vaguely like the pictures I had seen on my computer screen. He had been the one calling, too. To my surprise he was much better looking in person, that is, if you don’t count the light wash, taper leg jeans.
I immediately fell into an easy conversation with the Vet. It turned out that not only did he and The Ramone go to the same college but they were actually there at the same time! I asked, and luckily it was a big enough school that they didn’t know each other, even though their frat houses were in close proximity to one another. One of the biggest differences between this guy and The Ramone was that he was commissioned as an officer in the Marine Corps directly out of college. I have a great respect for and a strong attraction to men who feel a sense of duty to their country, perhaps because so many New Yorkers are so vain and narcissistic. He spent many years in the Corps and after leaving for a couple of years, returned as a reservist. Last year he deployed to Afghanistan, commanding a group of 15 international officers with a NATO operation. I could listen to him, or anyone, talk about this kind of work for hours. I am in awe of service men and their stories. Maybe because theirs are so different than any of the stories of my own life. Next year he will retire aboard the Intrepid where he was first inducted into the Corps.
Outside of his military career he is a successful banker, managing a large portfolio for several clients. Finance is something that I know absolutely nothing about. Take a look at my bank accounts to see for yourself. Once having sights set on being a veterinarian, you can tell listening to him talk about his financial career that he wishes he had pursued a career working with animals. This becomes even more apparent when he talks about his two-year-old Golden Retriever.
I learned an awful lot about this man in the short time I spent with him, and strangely enough he learned a lot about me, too. When I ended our phone conversation earlier in the day he had said “I have a lot of questions for you” and he wasn’t kidding! He wanted to find out more about me, and the things he already knew he wanted an explanation of or reasoning for. You could tell by his body language that he really did care about what I had to say and really did want to hear more.
We both ordered Smithwick’s. I ordered before he arrived, and when he ordered he left the same tip I did, which made me happy as I’m a generous tipper and get upset with people who are neglectful. He, too, has bad knees, and when I pointed out the hole and crack in my right patella (that is visible to the eye) he commented also “nice legs by the way”. We made the mistake of talking a bit of politics and though we both agree that there should be a greater sense of personal responsibility in the general public we are completely off balance when it comes to social issues and things like public housing and health care reform. I guess that’s why they say never talk politics, but it is important to me and I don’t want to spend the evenings of the rest of my life debating a point with my partner. I’d like us to team up against an opposing force.
The time came when I needed to head back into the city for the next date and he had to get going so he could be up early. I wasn’t necessarily ready to end my time with the Tiger Vet but it couldn’t be avoided and he offered/told me he was going to walk me to my train. I told him that’s very nice of him but now I’d have to walk in heels instead of changing my shoes. He didn’t agree and told me that he was more concerned with the pain in my joints than the overall look of my outfit. Nonetheless, I stayed in the heels. When we got to the train station he informed me that he’d really like to see me again but that he understands that I am very busy right now. He tried to go in for a kiss but I turned my head and went for the cheek. I know he was disappointed but I didn’t want to mislead him.
The Tiger Vet is a great guy. He possesses many of the qualities I believe I want in my partner but I don’t think I want them in him. Though an attractive man, there wasn’t a real physical connection and I don’t think I will miss him if I never see him again. As I write this I have already heard from him again, and I now have to find a way to let him down gently. Why can’t there be more guys out there like Tiger Vet? Or why couldn’t I have wanted to rip HIS clothes off? And can’t I have both?
Bonus Features:
*has served his country
*loves animals
*genuinely interested in knowing more about me
*chivalrous
As-Is Defaults
*no “spark”
*likely a registered Republican
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