#5 D.C. Dude or Dud?

Johnny5
Height: 5'11
Age: 31
Met: Online
Standard looking American guy in a white button up shirt


I knew that I was heading down to Washington, D.C. to spend the holiday with my sister so I decided it would be a good opportunity to see if the D.C. Dude is really as bad as she claims they are. A few quick clicks later and I have my customized D.C. man search in order. Not needing to be picky, I shoot off e-mails to the first three guys that my customized search returns. Much to my surprise, I hear back from all of them! I'm only in town for the weekend fellas! One of them goes a similar route as #4 did, asked if it wasn't too forward that maybe we could meet up tomorrow. Of course!

After a brief exchange of e-mails we find out that we both already have plans with friends, but in the same neighborhood. They don't have a place set yet so they will come to the karaoke bar where I will be with my sister and her friend. I know what you are thinking: "Karaoke? Really?" But once the place was full it was a good time. But where is my guy?

Around 11 I get a text saying "we are next door at Bourbon." Umm, okay. So why aren't you here? He didn't add "so why don't you come over here" or "we will be there shortly". Thus begins our game of cat and mouse. At which point I think I am still the mouse. "Well, we are still here so come on by." Half hour later "we're stopping in." So I start looking around for someone who looks kinda like the guy I saw in the pictures. I don't see anyone. Another half hour goes by. Another text. "Just left. Heading to Chi Cha Lounge if you want to come." By this point it was just me and my sister, and my ears were becoming more offended with each tone deaf rendition of an 80's classic. Sis is game so even though I am mildly irritated we head out. But had I become the cat?

We get to this uber hip, super chill hookah bar and there's no sight of my date. So we order a drink and I become the only person in this swanky place who feels the need to dance to Janet Jackson's "That's the Way Love Goes". Another text. "Be there in 5." How we beat him and his friends is beyond me. Okay. A good 20 minutes later a guy stands in front of me and asks if I am who I am. FINALLY! He does truly exist! Though he looks nothing like the picture I saw of him.

We meet his friend, Manny, and I am suddenly impressed that he has a wing man. Manny disappears to retrieve beverages for the two of them and Johnny5 asks polite questions of my sister and I. This is a good sign. Not only is he showing interest in me, but also my lil' sis. Bonus points. Its only been about 5 or 10 minutes when he says that he'll back, gonna check in with his friends. So me and sis are chillin' in the vicinity of the bar enjoying ourselves and the random people we are meeting around us. I can see Johnny5 and his friends at a distance. Part of me feels like I should go over and say something but we've not been asked to join them.

We have, however, been invited into conversation with another group and are having a great time when I realize that Johnny5 is nowhere in sight. Are his friends still there? No. They are gone. Then my phone starts to buzz again. "Heading home for the night, but are you free tomorrow?" You have GOT to be kidding me! HE LEFT! It is one thing if he leaves, but he left without taking the two seconds to come over and say "see ya" AND asks is he can see me again tomorrow! What is that!?!? Who does that? This has to be a major breech in social etiquette that most people understand.

I have not and will not respond to his request to see me again. He doesn't deserve a response. I am one step closer to believing my sister may be right, that D.C. dudes are even worse than their Yankee counterparts. New York men may be lazy, but this is a new level of idiocy. The remainder of the evening was split between two ridiculously good looking, charming men who reminded me how a guy is supposed to make you feel. Thanks for that fellas. They give me hope that Johnny5 was just an unfortunate incident.

Bonus Features:
*great shoulders
*showed interest in the person I was with

As-Is Defaults
*didn't show up when or where he said he would
*disappeared without a word